Even if its only by God and me I suppose. My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. The most common reason a baby would begin to reject the breast after receiving a bottle is that the bottle was an easier route to take. there was even one night where she pushed me away and tried to crawl away when i got near. Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. Thanks, Mai!!! Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. So the legal battles began, the mother finally got a job after 2 years (shes 37) and he was finally able to reduce the child support from $1600 a month to $800 since the mother should have been able to pay for her personal expenses. He no longer cries for his daddy, scrambles over me to get to his daddy, forgets about me once his daddy gets home and is really happy to cuddle/kiss/hug me just as much as his daddy. Well, disobeing the court orders she left with the child to another state without any communication or notice of where she was going. Thank you so much for responding so quickly! My daughter is nearly six months old and she gets really grumpy with me. Hi When I am around, I try to maximize my time with all the children playing, reading, dropping off and picking up from school and even going out and it seems to work great for my older two. He now prefers my mom over me and could care less if Im around. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. It makes me very sad because she tried so hard for her and I feel like I waited my whole life to have a child and she is our only one and now I wonder what I am doing that is so wrong. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. What scares me the most is that I dont want her to start having tantrums when she cant get what she wants. It breaks my heart when she cries and kicks when daddy leaves her alone with me. I am in the same boat. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. I dont get it. This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. And when I get her home she ignores me. she would prefer me if she is with me and strangers but at home I am no where in her priority list. Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. but, really, we'll be alright. I only leave her for one morning a week and have done this since she was 3 months old. Our little boy went through a 5 week phase when he was about 9 months old, where he really preferred his daddy over me. I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. For the mom with low milk supply who is supplementing with bottles her baby may start refusing to breastfeed. If your baby is upset, she will likely begin to calm down. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. I started wrk after 4 mths of her birth . What can I do? So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. Im very concerned about you. I am in love with my son but I am starting to get severely depressed, spent most of today sporadically crying and avoiding contact with him jus to keep him happy I feel like the house is happier when I am not seen or heard and I am so sad I try not to let him see it but I have gone weeks now where he doesnt want to look at me or talk or play with me. Making daily life work with a little toddler/baby is not always easy, so being able to help each other, discuss situations and both taking responsibility makes a difference. I dont know what to do. i feel so usless at the moment, i have a 5 month old daughter who in my mind hates the bones of me, as soon as her dad wakes in the morning to go to work she screams the place down for at least 3 hours,i just cant do anything to calm her down, when i finally get her settled again i just find my self breaking down in tears infront of my 2 year old son, he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me, i feel like i am doing everything on my own, my partners mother only lives round the corner but she is as helpful as a glass hammer, she has my partners 2 sons from his ex partner every weekend but she wont do with my daughter, my parents help me as much as they can, but they also have jobs to do. Try different positions 5. 11. She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. Consider co-sleeping, where your daughter sleeps between the two of you. A few months ago my fiance lost her job and is at home 24/7. And be there when they come back. ), are hard-wired so to speak to love their mothers, absent significant abuse and/or neglect. Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. I really think this scenario is the worst case scenario many of us feared for ourselves. Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. in return they are telling me dun seperate them from my child wat can i do . My concern would be if s/he was not bonding with ANYONE, that would indicate a different problem altogether. 1. But sometimes it seems like I dont even compare to Grandma!! This time is so precious and so short. I know a significant factor in my issues with my son was my inability to bond because of my terrible adjustment to being a mother/post partum depression. Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. Help?? We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. they will be happy, more emotionally-healthy adults because of the love we giveeven if they seem to ignore it now, they need us. Or I bundle them together, rather than giving each one of them time. I take care of her so nicely and to the best of efforts but she doesnt like me. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. I just cant get the image of her red angry little face out of my mind. They simply need this period of increased closeness to gain new courage. So everything stabilized for me. You can read more about baby development at different months here. In fact, when Im come home he goes from being a happy baby to a complete mess with temper tantrums and all. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. Your girls are now 8 months old. It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. Im pretty much the disciplinarian.. could that be the reason? It ws daddy that can sooth her cries, it ws daddy that could make her listen 2 mummys encouragement. Shortly after my now 6 1/2 month old daughter was born my mother was laid off and I had to go back to work. Ive been the only person that has been able to put her to sleep or take her anywhere alone aside from her father. The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". She has now outgrown the reflux but has become a very fussy feeder.Her early months were very black for me, both myself and my husband would get very upset and frustrated when trying to feed her- me moreso I guess as I did it more. Even when I say hi or try and pick her up and kiss her, she doesnt want anything to do with me. Near the end of your pregnancy, talk to your HR department or supervisor about your return to work plan. by Ashley Jones July 13, 2021 Everything that happens in your life once you have a baby just feels different.. You are not alone, you have not done anything wrong and you should not be feeling this sad. This has been for pretty much his whole life. If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. Warming the nipple (just run it under warm water) may help, too. you can see that she love him , but when she sees him its another story . she is three now. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! I have 11 month old baby and until 3 weeks ago I was 24 hours with him. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. I hope what you said is true and its just a phase. I do each and every work for her. When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. At about 12 months she became very much a mammas girl and now when i leave her to go to work she is loving to my boyfriend when i am gone but when she can see me she seems to hate him. It hurts to see my mother be the preferred one when I try just has hard to be noticed! Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! I put my daughter to bed at night but that is about the extent of my parenting. It may not feel like it right this moment but things will get better. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. Id say that is completely normal! baby rejecting mom after going back to work nw i think my gal dun wants me . I have a beautiful six month old baby girl, who was premature, so she had to stay in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks after she was born. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. Parenthood is a great opportunity for personal development! When he's with me. After college Im with her all the time, I play with her, feed her, do things that I feel is bonding but she still prefers my mother when given the choice. Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. I have a 11 month old little girl. My 9-mth old baby boy is doing the same to me too. I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. But unless one is emotionally stable, it can be almost impossible. When she comes home from nursery its a whole lot worse, I think its because she has been with other women who are completely fun all of the time. No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. I kind of hid behind work and did not take the time to bond with my baby boy. We have tried EVERYTHING to get this baby to take a bottle. Things went downhill from there. My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. Im so happy he still wants to breastfeed though and didnt completely write me off but he just doesnt seem happy to see me like he did his daddy and that hurts so much especially since I cried cause I missed him so much. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. If you buy something through a link on this site, I may receive a small commission. So chin up, head down. He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. I want my baby to love me as much as I love her, but I understand I cant force that. What the hell do you expect when you abandon your baby? She just wants me to go away from her. If this board is any indication it happens quite a bit. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! Im the mother who wrote nearly a year ago that my baby boy didnt seem to love me, I posted later that things seemed to be improving and now, at 18 months, I feel absolutely loved by my son. Just being honest with you. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. I thought my daughter was the only one to behave this way. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). On the Internet Viral Reddit Baby Family. It will happen, if your baby is bonding with others s/he will bond with you. I do everything to make her happy and when she is alone with me she is happy but the moment she sees her grandparents or father she forgets me and rejects me. its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . When I think about it, it really is a good thing that she loves her daycare. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. My 9 month old baby seems to get attached to everyone and any one. everyone will try to get him to say it and he just stares blankly at me, he does not want me to hold him, kiss him, or hug him! 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. Play lots of games with your daughter. 1. And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. It feels like going back to work is a relief, so I can just..get out of her life and let daddy make her happy. Well, it of course depends on the situation; if the mom and baby live together and have had the possibility to develop a bond, and so on. Hi! Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. 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